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By Hugh Young Ballydrain Harriers

I returned from the races in Scotland, holding my head in my hand, For things didn't go as expected, no, things didn't go as we'd planned, For young Karen Marshall excepted, the rest of the team all got panned.

What do they do there in England, that makes them so fleet of foot, You could say the same about Scotland + the Republic of Ireland to boot, "It's the short three miles races we run", this I've heard some folk say,Well the answer to that is quite simple - make all XC races 1 OK.

"They have more runners to pick from, that's why they are top of the shop." But Kenya has far less than England, so that sort of reasoning must stop.
I've cudgelled my brains for the answer. I've thought of both that and of this
If I failed, to let you know my findings, I'd have to say I was remiss.

I've consulted with two running colleagues, Hayes and McKeag from the 'Drain
And they in agreement with me, say, it's all in the way we train.
If, when you race, you want to, run each mile, in 5 minutes or less,
Then in training, jogging won't do it; you must subject your body, to stress.
Get used to running much faster + repeat it again + again
Until at last you can hold it, without too much of a strain.
Then cut each mile by 10 seconds, even though it causes you pain,
And keep doing that, till you're happy, then cut by 10 seconds again.
Long slow distance is all very well, but out, it will have to go, For all that it bloody teaches - is how to run far, very slow.

Well that's the running bit sorted, but there's more, if you want to be good, It's not just a question of running, there's the question of drink + of food.
When it comes to the matter of diet, I shall turn to young Marshall for aid
For I've seen more fat on a whippet, than on that fleet footed maid.
She eats neither sausage nor suet, black pudding, bacon or ham
But lives entirely on fresh air and occasional teaspoons of jam.

The drink I am saying goodbye to,
For the sake of two thousand and two,
It's out with Beer, Guinness + Vino, of whiskey I'll have not a dram.
And if that doesn't alter my figure, I'll be saying goodbye to the jam
By next year, if I stick to the diet + all goes according to plan
They'll be saying move over there Karen, you're blocking our view, of yer man!